Mountain Lesson #2 – Breaking Through Self-imposed Barriers is Fun!

(as featured on MORE.com - the official website of MORE magazine) On Sunday, August 9, 2009, at 9am mountain standard time, I, Jill Allison Bryan, (former non-athlete, former non-runner, former person least likely to engage in any contest relying on physical ability and coordination), ran my first ever 5K race.  Not only my first 5K ever, but on a course which meandered through the mountains of Breckenridge, Colorado at an elevation of  some10,000 feet, with a vertical ascent of over 850 feet on the trail! (an added challenge for a flatlander from Dallas, Texas) My fantastic creativity coach, Jill Badonsky, used to encourage me to toot my own horn now and again and this feels like a most appropriate moment, so…TOOT!!  TOOT!!

Actually, I’m writing about this personal triumph not so much to sing my own praises, as to share with you the notion that breaking through personally imposed barriers can be an absolutely fan-freakin’-tastic experience!  We all have certain labels we’ve taken on or been saddled with by family members, friends, enemies or evil P.E. teachers.  As a child I believed I could write stories, play piano, sing and act, but I also believed that I couldn’t run well, wasn’t athletic and probably never would be.

As an adult, I slowly began to realize that I did have a few athletic abilities after all.  I could play a fair game of tennis.  I actually enjoyed weight training.  I even learned to windsurf when I lived and worked on a sailboat in the Caribbean.  But only recently, in the past two or three years, have I tried running (something that only real athletes do)…on the treadmill at first, and then, only one or two minutes at a time…but running none-the-less.  I was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed the way it made me feel.  When I took my runs outside, I was even more amazed.  I found that not only could I run further and faster than I ever dreamed, I love the mind/body/spirit experience.  I love the meditative feeling of moving my body in my own rhythm, at my own pace, being in nature, and letting my thoughts flow freely.  I love the fact that at 44 years old, I am healthy enough to engage in this new energizing physical practice.  (another Mid-Life Oasis ™ lesson – it’s never too late to begin!)

Though I’ve been running a few times a week for several months now, there’s a difference between running for an hour through my neighborhood, and participating in an actual race.  Although I’ve registered to run a half-marathon in January of 2010 at Disney World (the location makes it seem more feasible and fun somehow) I still had yet to run in an “official” race until this past Sunday. 

I registered on a whim after watching my daughter (who is almost ten) break through a barrier herself.  She was climbing an indoor rock-wall, trepidatious at first…inching up a few footholds, then coming back down.  Finally, after several false starts, she maneuvered her way to the very top of the climbing wall and rang the bell.  She was elated - so proud of herself and rightly so. 

Perhaps it was serendipity that a sign-up sheet for the Breck 150 Father Dyer Mail Run 5K sat right next to the climbing wall.  I felt a sudden surge of possibility and a little bit of “oh, what the hell” - paid my $25 and registered.  (There was also that nice, shiny new SIGG aluminum water bottle that came in the goodie bag – but I like to think that was only a small motivational factor.) 

The weather the day of the race was gorgeous and sunny.  I knew in theory that I could run the 3.1 miles since I had been running almost everyday on trails around town, so my goals were simply to finish and to have fun.  The latter was seriously challenged during the first ten minutes of the race which was extremely vertical.  But after I found my rhythm (run the flat bits, hike the climbs, breathe…breathe…breathe!) and a couple of nice pacing mates, I really enjoyed myself.  I kept thinking  “Wow!  You’re really doing this!” And “Hey, this is pretty fun.”  And occasionally, “Was that a 12 year old who just past me?”

The final ten minutes of the course was downhill and then flat out.  The adrenaline kicked in and I finished at a pretty good clip with the two lovely women I had run with for most of the race.  Once I past the finish line and handed in my ID stub for my time, I felt slightly nauseous and a bit emotional for a few minutes…then pure elation!  I did it!  I rang that bell!  I ran right through a lifelong self-imposed barrier and into the world of “real” athletes. 

If I can do it – so can you!  You can get up and sing at karaoke night!  You can take a dance class – even something dramatic like the tango or salsa or hip-hop!  You can bake a soufflé!  You can do whatever it is that you want to do!  Why wait another day?  Treat yourself to the giddy elation of breaking through a self-imposed barrier now.  Your oasis awaits you!

 

 

 

 

Mountain Lesson #1 – Oxygen - Ubiquitous, yet Precious and, even Magical

At 9,600 feet elevation, you have a new appreciation for oxygen and your lungs ability to pump it through your respiratory system. I’ve been thinking about this a lot as I take my morning run through the scenic mountain town of Breckenridge. During the first five minutes or so, my lungs experience a slight burning sensation and my brain sends little “are you kidding me – we’re really going to do this?” messages. But, soon, I find my rhythm and the clean mountain air feels great and my mind focuses on the tranquil beauty of the river, bright blues skies and surrounding mountains. (especially novel and amazing sights for a flatlander from Dallas, Texas) My body takes over and does what it’s designed to do without my giving it another thought.

It’s so easy to take something as omnipresent as oxygen for granted in our day-to-day lives. And yet, when we experience something as basic and ordinary as breathing in a new set of conditions (in a higher altitude, as we exercise, or a combination of both) its preciousness becomes more apparent. Even in my everyday life back in Dallas, I sometimes notice that I’m not taking full breaths. When I have this realization and remedy it by taking in a few deep, cleansing breathes, the relaxing and energizing effects are immediate and transformative – an instant oasis, if you will.

A wonderful doctor, Dr. Margaret Christensen, posts as signs all around her office that simply say “Breathe”. I’m always amazed how within the course of a visit with her, I’m reminded to breath a half-dozen times or more and how wonderful it feels. It’s unbelievable really, but most of us forget to really connect with our breath and breathe deeply the majority of the time. It’s as if we have this magical device at our disposal that we neglect to use. Feeling stressed, anxious or nervous? Take a nice deep breath and let it go. Dangerously close to losing your cool with your co-worker or kid? Breathe deeply and feel the calm flow throughout your body. Feeling particularly grateful for something, breathe in and let the positive energy expand within you.

My dear friend, Jane Baldwin, founder of Pranasalara, (which translates to “breathing through illusion to freedom”) leads amazing breathing circles. Using special breathing techniques, she guides you into a state that transcends the usual mind/body/spirit condition and allows you to experience a soul-cleansing release that is truly extraordinary.

So, the first lesson the mountains have shared with me this summer, and my gentle reminder to you is this – remember to breathe. You have the magical power to bring a calm, focused energy to yourself – anytime, anywhere – your breath. How great is that?

All the best from my oasis to yours,
Jill

Beach Lessons - #3 – The Creative & Therapeutic Benefits of the Drip Sand Castle

My preferred method for building sand castles is the “drip” technique. You don’t need special molds, buckets or even a shovel. A glorious drip castle can be created using nothing but ocean water, sand and your hands. (thick brownish sand of Texas beaches is ideal –beautiful sugary sands of Florida – not so much)

If you sit right at the water’s edge, you don’t even need a bucket to hold the water. Just dig a little hole in the sand with your hands and let the incoming tide fill ‘er up. Then scoop out handfuls of soft, mushy sand and let it drip slowly out of your hands onto the beach. As you do this again and again, forms begin to take shape that look a bit like termite mounds or reverse stalagmites.

I love the free form way the structures evolve. I love the tactile experience – the way the sand feels as it oozes out of my hand - soft, squishy and warm. (I often give myself a little spa-like foot mud-scrub while I’m at it.) I love the process as much as the end result – which is one reason I find it to be such a satisfying creative endeavor. And, as a bonus - it’s supremely relaxing – therapeutic even.

Sand castles are not meant to last forever. I think their impermanence only adds to their unique magic. Like a sacred mandala, carefully crafted by Buddhist monks in ritualized ceremony, sand castles are meant to be enjoyed during their creation and by onlookers, and then lovingly offered back to the sea by the wind and the waves. (Once the Buddhist mandalas, with their intricate designs of brightly colored sand, are complete – they’re blessed, desecrated and usually released into a body of water to further spread the blessings.)

During my most recent trip to the beach, there were some major, architectural sand sculptures up and down the shore. Enormous castles complete with moats, turrets, bridges and flags. The coolest one was a life-size speedboat complete with bench seats large enough for four adults to sit in.

Mine, however, was more along the lines of the free-form structure that Richard Dreyfuss created over and over again in the movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”. I think I remember him using dirt, paper and even mashed potatoes to build it. He had no idea what he was building – but he was inexplicably compelled to do so. Me too!

Drip sand castles are a nice reminder that there are times when process trumps end product, free-form trumps structure, and messy beats tidy and neat! (check out this “Wreck This Journal” post by Pink Heels for another great example of this)

What can you do today to play with a creative process, make a bit of a mess and just have fun with it? I’d love for you to share your creative/therapeutic ideas with me!

Beach Lessons - #2 – Beach People are Happy People

Beach people are happy people, generally at least.  During my sunrise runs, most people I pass on the beach are content, if not downright joyful. Fishing, walking their dogs, running barefoot along the shoreline (like me) or up on softer sand in running shoes with headphones.  To me, an early morning walk or run on the beach is one of life’s greatest pleasures and a true “oasis moment”.  (I believe this would be true even if I were lucky enough to live near a beach and have the opportunity to run there anytime I wanted and not just the one or two weeks out of a year that vacation currently allows. A theory I hope to test in the future!) 

Recently, I realized during one of these morning constitutionals that I was so focused on the stretch of sand just ahead of me that I had to remind myself to stop and take a moment to turn to the sea, to breathe in the fresh morning air and drink in the splendor of the foamy white waves rolling onto the shoreline.  As I took a moment to revel in the beauty and rhythm of the rolling waves, the sounds of the surf and feel of the salty breeze on my face and the soft sand beneath my feet, I realized that this was just like our day-to-day lives.  Often, we set off running through our days – seeing only the few feet in front of us – attention focused on the immediate tasks at hand.  It’s only when we remind ourselves to stop and really take in the wonder and beauty of life that we can revel in the present moment. 

It seems to me that one of the benefits of mid-life is this is a time we finally begin to appreciate how delightful, how important and how absolutely necessary it is to stop and smell the roses (or sea air, or first cup of coffee of the day).  In our 20’s we’re usually moving fast and furiously (even if we don’t know what we’re moving towards).  In our 30’s – we may have others’ needs to consider (a partner, a child, a boss…) and we tend to put our needs on the back burner.  But as we approach our 40’s and beyond, it begins to dawn on us – “Hey – this is my life.  No one else is going to live it or enjoy it for me.  I better starting doing some things that I want to do for a change!”  Mid-life oasis here I come!

And, if by chance you haven’t had that though yet, let me by the first to share it with you – take some time today, (take some time every day), to treat yourself to an oasis moment.  Turn towards the waves and the rising sun in your world and revel in it.  Paint your toenails or a canvas or a t-shirt.  Toast your girlfriends or some marshmallows around a campfire in your backyard.  Take a walk – even if it’s just around the block and notice five things you’ve never seen before.  Dedicate the experience to yourself.  Be fully present in the moment and let it fill you with delight.  Then watch how little bursts of joy seep into other aspects of your day.  You may find yourself smiling for no particular reason other than it just feels better that way.

Beach people are happy people…and my wish for you today is that you enjoy a little bit of beach people attitude wherever you may be.

 

Beach Lessons - #1 – People are Good.

Beach vacation, day one.  Our cars were packed with beach towels, sunscreen, Scrabble, paperbacks and the several electronic devices that my daughter “needs” for a road trip. (I bit my tongue rather than launch into a “back in my day we played travel bingo and we liked it” tirade.) 

About an hour and a half into our drive, we stopped in Waco, Texas for a quick break.  Once back in our cars, mine (which had just been serviced that week in preparation for this trip) failed to turnover.  Nothing.  Just the dreaded click-click-click of a dead battery.  Great.  Neither we, nor my parents, whom we were caravanning with had jumper cables.  Great.  The temperature was already creeping up past ninety degrees.  And we had our dog in the car with us.  Great.

Then the nicest thing happened.  A man in an old white truck pulled up next to us and asked if he could help.  He had jumper cables.  He had tools.  He had patience and know-how and, in the end he took my dad to a local auto parts store to buy the battery that we needed.  He didn’t want to accept the money that we offered as a thank-you.  He said, “I just like to help people.”  Wow. 

The entire inconvenience lasted about an hour and was worth every minute because it restored our faith in humanity.  It reminded us that there are still good people in the world, willing to take an hour out of their Saturday, in hot, sweaty temperatures to help out some people that they don’t know and will more than likely never see again.  Beach lesson #1 – people are good.  

I Detoxed with Gwyneth Paltrow (and a few thousand of her closest friends…)

Ahhhh… the rewards of stepping out of your comfort zone.  Recently, my sister-in-law turned me onto a week-long detox diet that she found on GOOP.  For those of you who don’t know squat about GOOP (I didn’t either until two weeks ago) it’s Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter, filled with fun facts about Gwen’s glamorous life and helpful hints to boot.  (Apparently she’s so nice and down-to-earth with her advice that we can’t hate - her even though she’s a runway thin, beautiful movie actress married to a rock star!)

I’d been curious about trying a cleanse of some sort, but wasn’t prepared (and doubt that I ever will be) to exist on water with cayenne pepper, maple syrup and lemon juice for two weeks.  Most cleanses I’d heard about sounded so difficult…so stringent…so unappealing.  What sold me on GOOP’s particular plan were the beautiful photos of fresh green soups and salads, brightly colored juices and creamy smoothies.  Now, maybe that I could live with for a week, I thought.  Even though I’d have to cut out all processed foods, sugar, caffeine, alcohol and grains for a week? Gulp. Still outside the comfort zone, but, perhaps doable?

Luckily, I had the support of my awesomely wonderful sister-in-law, Shannon.  (I have forgiven my brother a mountain of past transgressions for bringing her into our family.)  We talked each day and sent encouraging e-mails.  We shared tips. (try freezing half the rice milk for your smoothie to make it creamy like something from TCBY) And within a few days, we both had the realization that this was not, in fact, going to kill us.  There was even a good chance it might make us stronger. (not to mention a bit lighter)

Here’s the reward – I stepped outside my comfort zone (a week with coffee or wine…really?) and ended up feeling better than I’ve felt in months.  And, I can honestly say that after the week was over, I’ve had no desire to dive right back into my pre-GOOP ways.  It has been a nice fresh start for me.

I’m not suggesting that you all run out and do this detox – but I would encourage you to take a step (even a small one) outside of your comfort zone.  Think of something you’ve been toying around with doing, but just haven’t been able to muster the oomph you need to try it.

Do you pass a yoga studio and think, “Gee, I’d like to try that, but I’m afraid I can’t bend that way anymore?”  Have you always harbored a secret fantasy to belt out a tune at an open-mic night but can’t seem to find a wheelbarrow to carry a tune in?  Would you love to take a drawing class, but haven’t drawn more than a conclusion in years? Maybe you just wish you could say “No” for once to the person who keeps calling and asking you for favors that she never returns (you know who you are – shame on you.) 

I think this is fitting quote to leave you with:  “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” – Mark Twain.  Why not get something new? 

 All the best from my oasis to yours,

Jill

So, what’s a Mid-Life Oasis™ anyway?

(as featured on MOREmagazine.com)

The idea of a Mid-Life Oasis™ came to me back when deciding what to name my creative lifestyle coaching business. (www.creativeoasiscoaching.com)

I realized that many women around my age (40-somethingish– give or take a few years) were thinking more and more about the term “Mid-Life” and how it applied to them.  More often than not, when we see the words “Mid-life” –the word “crisis” – follows closely behind (like piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe – lovely, right?).  

Yet, as I contemplated my own life, I realized that my experience seemed the opposite of a crisis.  It felt more like an oasis.  I had learned to create time and space in my life for the things that truly matter to me and make me feel good.  I was more comfortable in my own skin than I had ever been in my 20’s.  For me, mid-life meant living the life I really wanted to live, being the real, authentic me and making time, even in my busy day-to-day life, for deep, personal satisfaction in mind, body and spirit.   So, how did I manage to find this Mid-Life Oasis ™?

Several years ago, I felt stuck, overwhelmed and a little bitchy a lot of the time.  I began working with a creativity coach, the amazing Jill Badonsky (www.themuseisin.com).  With the help of a supportive,compassionate coach, I began to make time for my love of singing and songwriting again after years away from it.  It opened the window to a creative new way of living a fulfilling life.  And, most surprisingly, it introduced me to my wonderful mid-life career change into a creative lifestyle coach.  Now I have the satisfying role of helping other women discover their own oasis.

I've done a bit of blogging in the past, but recently, while working with my fantastic business coach, Jennifer Moore (www.pinkheels.com) - I've decided to devote more time and energy to it.  (As you can see, I think personal coaches are wonderful and if I were queen everyone would have at least one to help them live their best possible life!)

I believe we can all use some inspiration and encouragement when it comes to creating an oasis in our lives – and that’s what I promise to provide here.  Please feel free to drop me a line and tell me about your mid-life experiences - whether you’re just now beginning to discover your oasis – or you've been happily doing so for some time. When we treat life as our greatest creative expression, we transform our day-to-day existence into a joyful adventure – rich, fulfilling and fun!  I hope you’ll join me. 

All the best from my oasis to yours,

Jill